John Terry

February 4, 2009

First we had the shit lookalike of Frank Lampard.  Now, it’s the turn of the other Chelsea man… John Terry.

John Terry

Carlos Cuellar

October 17, 2008

Player of the Year.  Now he’s a dick.

Fudds

May 31, 2008

To mark the launch of the movie premiere of ‘Sex and the City’ (the movie about the 3 prostitutes and their mother), the US-based burger chain, Fuddruckers, proudly presents ‘Fudds in the City’ –

 

Jane Fonda

May 31, 2008

‘Traitor bitch’ apparently

 

Smugby

April 28, 2008

Theres a new word for you.  ‘Smugby’.  You know, like a cross between a typical rugby fan ‘n a smug cunt.

i.e. “Check oot that cunt ‘aer there!  He looks a right twat.  Wae ‘his England rugby shirt ‘n ‘his mad smug coupin’.  He looks a right cunt.  Reeks’ ae smugness.  If only a’ hid a word fur it?”

Well, despair no more.  ‘Smugby’.  There you go.  And if you need an image to go with this new word….?

 

Paddy Nakamura

April 28, 2008

Finally.  A translation of what was going through Shunsuke Nakamura’s mind when he hit that free-kick.

 

Mick Hucknall

April 17, 2008

Simply Red.  Holding Back The Beers.

 

Indian-Irish Phonecall

April 17, 2008

 

Shades

April 13, 2008

Saw a guy this morning wearing shades.  Even though the weather didn’t merit it.  So, why was he wearing shades?  Aye, that’s right.

‘Cos he was a cunt

 

Hypnotoad

April 13, 2008

Yer walking down the street.  Ye see a burd.  Ye fancy the burd.  How do you batter intae the burd?  Easy.  Hypnotoad her.  Just stare her out.  Totally stare at her.  Then make a wee “doooooofffffffffffffffff” noise.  She’ll be like putty in yer hauns

 

Paul McCartney

April 13, 2008

….makes a cup of tea.

“Dooooooooooo…..”

“One for me, and one for me worms….!”

 

Cone heid

April 13, 2008

Royal Exchange Square.  Gutted

 

Cone heid

April 13, 2008

Royal Exchange Square.  Closure

 

Bo’ Selecta – Mel B on Cribs

April 12, 2008

 

Tarzan

April 12, 2008

What’s black and white and lies at the bottom of the jungle?

Tarzan’s auld Adidas Samba

Taxi

April 12, 2008

How many black guys can you fit in a taxi?

Four. Maybe five

 

Do you like cats?

April 12, 2008

 

Bernard Righton

April 12, 2008

 

Breid

April 12, 2008

What’s the difference between a rottweiler and a pan loaf?

They’re different breeds

 

Parrot

April 12, 2008

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

 

John Denver

April 12, 2008

What weights 5lbs and won’t be plucked this Christmas?

John Denver’s guitar

 

Kermit the Fog

April 12, 2008

What did Kermit the Frog say when he got to the top of the hill?

“‘A muppet!”

 

Owl

April 12, 2008

What’s red and sits up a tree?

A sanitary owl

 

Anne Frank

April 12, 2008

What’s brown and sits in the corner of the attic?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank

 

Casper

April 11, 2008

What’s white and brown and flies through walls?

Casper, the friendly plate of mince

 

Pikachu

April 11, 2008

How d’you get Pikachu onto a bus?

Poke ‘im on!

 

Lieutenant Uhuru

April 11, 2008

Why was Lieutenant Uhuru black?

‘Cos William Shatner

 

Mozambique

April 11, 2008

I love this flag.  The flag of Mozambique.  It cries out,  “We’ve ‘goat Kalashnikovs! ‘Moan then!”

 

Swaziland

April 11, 2008

Swaziland.  Clearly not bothered about African stereotypes.

 

Seychelles

April 11, 2008

The flag of The Seychelles.  Popular amongst the gay community.

 


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