Archive for April, 2008


April 28, 2008

Theres a new word for you.  ‘Smugby’.  You know, like a cross between a typical rugby fan ‘n a smug cunt.

i.e. “Check oot that cunt ‘aer there!  He looks a right twat.  Wae ‘his England rugby shirt ‘n ‘his mad smug coupin’.  He looks a right cunt.  Reeks’ ae smugness.  If only a’ hid a word fur it?”

Well, despair no more.  ‘Smugby’.  There you go.  And if you need an image to go with this new word….?



Paddy Nakamura

April 28, 2008

Finally.  A translation of what was going through Shunsuke Nakamura’s mind when he hit that free-kick.


Mick Hucknall

April 17, 2008

Simply Red.  Holding Back The Beers.


Indian-Irish Phonecall

April 17, 2008



April 13, 2008

Saw a guy this morning wearing shades.  Even though the weather didn’t merit it.  So, why was he wearing shades?  Aye, that’s right.

‘Cos he was a cunt



April 13, 2008

Yer walking down the street.  Ye see a burd.  Ye fancy the burd.  How do you batter intae the burd?  Easy.  Hypnotoad her.  Just stare her out.  Totally stare at her.  Then make a wee “doooooofffffffffffffffff” noise.  She’ll be like putty in yer hauns


Paul McCartney

April 13, 2008

….makes a cup of tea.


“One for me, and one for me worms….!”


Cone heid

April 13, 2008

Royal Exchange Square.  Gutted


Cone heid

April 13, 2008

Royal Exchange Square.  Closure


Bo’ Selecta – Mel B on Cribs

April 12, 2008



April 12, 2008

What’s black and white and lies at the bottom of the jungle?

Tarzan’s auld Adidas Samba


April 12, 2008

How many black guys can you fit in a taxi?

Four. Maybe five


Do you like cats?

April 12, 2008


Bernard Righton

April 12, 2008



April 12, 2008

What’s the difference between a rottweiler and a pan loaf?

They’re different breeds



April 12, 2008

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot


John Denver

April 12, 2008

What weights 5lbs and won’t be plucked this Christmas?

John Denver’s guitar


Kermit the Fog

April 12, 2008

What did Kermit the Frog say when he got to the top of the hill?

“‘A muppet!”



April 12, 2008

What’s red and sits up a tree?

A sanitary owl


Anne Frank

April 12, 2008

What’s brown and sits in the corner of the attic?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank



April 11, 2008

What’s white and brown and flies through walls?

Casper, the friendly plate of mince



April 11, 2008

How d’you get Pikachu onto a bus?

Poke ‘im on!


Lieutenant Uhuru

April 11, 2008

Why was Lieutenant Uhuru black?

‘Cos William Shatner



April 11, 2008

I love this flag.  The flag of Mozambique.  It cries out,  “We’ve ‘goat Kalashnikovs! ‘Moan then!”



April 11, 2008

Swaziland.  Clearly not bothered about African stereotypes.



April 11, 2008

The flag of The Seychelles.  Popular amongst the gay community.



April 11, 2008

I’ve got no idea where Yaroslavl is.  But this is it’s national flag.

You’ve gotta’ admire an axe-wielding bear.

Especially when it’s gieing it the whole, “Haw you!” with it’s paw and the ‘thousand yard stare’ with it’s eyes.



April 11, 2008

Frog and a toad walking along the road.

The toad’s baws faw’ aff.

Frog goes, “Haw, d’ye want yer baws toad?”



April 11, 2008

Why was the prisoner lonely?

‘Cos he wis in his ‘cell


Rio Ferdinand

April 11, 2008

Wit is it wae Rio Ferdinand, eh?  I mean, wit is it?  Everytime ye see the cunt, he’s up oan somebodies’ shoulders, celebrating a goal he didnae score.  Wit a prick.